Pink is Evil
by Wolf-ofthe-Wilderness
Summary: Just by looking at the title, you can tell its anti-relena.;) Anywho, the gw girls and boys get dragged to Relena's "party". Take a guess at what will happen.^_^
1. Default Chapter

Pink is Evil

WARNING: This fic has tons of Relena bashing; therefore if you like her, be gone! :} If you, like me, hate Relena, then read on! Also, there's some Hilde bashing too.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing and its characters, and I never will.    ;-; *sob* Oh well…At least I get to have them in my fics ^_^.

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 Today, Heero was feeling like utter crap. Why?  Treize had decided to see what it was like to be Heero, so he stole Yuy's clothing and made himself look just like Heero. Much to Heero's dismay, Treize's acting was horrible and Heero was completely humiliated. 

 But Treize didn't go without punishment. The second that Relena saw him she squealed "HHHEEEERRRRROOOOOO-CCHHHAAAAANNN!!!!!!!", which needless to say broke all the glass windows around her and also several ears, almost including Treizes if he hadn't plugged his.

Treize:_ 'Damn woman…I can't believe Heero Yuy puts up with that__.' *begins to run away*  _

Relena:*somehow catches up with him and glomps him* Hee-chan!! I've been looking all over for you!! @_@ I have great news for you!!! 

Treize:*tries to wriggle out of her grasp* Yeah…great for you but hell for Heero. *mutters under his breath*  

Relena: I'm having a party and you're invited. I already invited the others.* smiles like an idiot*

Treize: Uhh…I have to get a root canal so- 

Relena:*turns demonic* :{IF YOU DON'T COME, I'LL HAVE WING ZERO AND YOUR ROOM PAINTED PINK!!!!!!!!!!

Treize:*becomes pale* 'Heero is going to kill me.' Alright! I'll come!

Relena:*back to normal* Great!! I'll see you later, Hee-chan!!*runs off, giggling stupidly*

Treize: 'I should have stayed home…'

 When Treize told Heero what had happened, Heero screamed his traditional 

"Omae o korosu!!" and nearly shot Treize where the sun don't shine. At this Treize pleaded for forgiveness and gave Heero his clothes back.

#Heero: I wanna kill Treize, author!!# 

#Talon: Not till later!!! *Hits Heero upside the head*#

 Now poor Heero had to get ready for his date with the she-devil as were the rest of the g-boys and girls. Let's see what they're up to….

*at Wufeis* 

Wufei: *has a pissed off look* The injustice!! How dare that stupid onna blackmail me!! *Sally throws a book at his head at the word onna* Ow!

*glares at Sally*

Sally: *grins, but then sighs* I know you don't want to go and, to be honest, neither do I. But I'm sure it won't be that long and at least we'll get to see the others.

Wufei: Hmpf.*takes out his sword and slashes a picture of Relena with the words BAKA!! written on top*

*at Duos*

Duo:*groans in agony* Why does this always happens? ;_; I HATE Relena's parties!! *snaps and gets an evil look* I'll bring a special present for her :} !!!!

#Talon: If you're wondering where Hilde is...lets just say she's tied up at the moment. ;)#

#Hilde: Mmmpffhhnnfff!!! *struggles against her bonds*#

#Talon: Don't worry ^_^. I won't kill you....yet!*cackles evilly*#

*at Trowas*

Trowa:*throws knives at pictures of Relena* Take that evil, pink one!*laughs* 

Talon: Uhh, Trowa, I think you're acting out of character.

Trowa:*thinks about it for a minute, then shrugs his shoulders, and goes back to what he was doing* Die!!

Talon: *sweatdrops and shakes head* 

*at Quatres, in his room*

Talon:*in the dark* That's weird. ?_? Why are all the lights off? *hears thumping noise* 'What the hell? Must be coming from the bed.' 

As I approach, I see two figures on the bed, moving. Moans can be heard from the figures.

Talon:*realizes what's going on* O_O 'Holy sh$@!!!!! That's Dorothy and Quatre!!' *runs out the door and puts a "Do Not Disturb Sign!" on the door.* Next time I'll knock!

*at Noins?*

Talon: Definitely not!! After what I saw at Quatres, I know what will happen there. Probably Zechs and Noin are... O_o  

A few hours later.....

*at Relena's damned mansion*

Relena is currently singing (if that's what you can even call it _.Sounds like a nails on a chalkboard. Omochao: I like it!! J  Talon:*goes insane* AHHHHHHHHH!!!! DIIIIEEE!!! *rips it apart with her claws*). She sings (shudder) the "I Love You" song from Barney. And wearing...OH CRAP- PINK!!!

Pagan:*eyes begin to water with joy* Miss Relena...Your singing is sooo beautiful.

#Talon: =| Apparently, somebody has been sniffing too much crack. #

Relena: ^_^ Thank you Pagan.*bell rings* Oh! That must be them! *u* 

Pagan opens the door revealing the gw gang, who look like hell (except for Noin, Zechs, Quatre, and Dorothy.  Talon: (Sarcastic) Gee, I wonder why?)

As Relena prepares to shriek, all the others, except Pagan, cover their ears.

Relena: HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-CCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Miraculously, all the glass did not break. :o It must be several feet thick.

Relena: I'm so glad you guys came!!! 

Duo:*mutters* Like we had a choice....

Heero: 'PINK BURNS!!!!!!!!!' 

Relena: Let's eat. ;) 

They took a few things from the pink table. They would have taken more, but most of the food appeared disturbing and (guess what?) PINK!!! 

Relena:*trying to get close to Heero* How do you like my party?

Heero:*scooting away* -_- # 'Resist urge to kill!' Whatever...

And Relena, being her naïve self, smiled wider.

Duo: Hey! I got an idea! Let's play truth or dare!

Relena: YAY!! ^-^

Wufei:*glares* You braided baka! What the hell are you trying to do?!

Duo:*whispers* We can get rid of Relena, Wu man. We just need to dare her.

Wufei:*stares at him in surprise* You have finally snapped, but I'll help. And don't call me Wu man.

They sat in a circle, Noin going first.

Noin: I choose Sally. :)  (that almost reminds me of pokemon...ack!)

Sally: I'll pick dare. Do your worst!

Noin: I dare you to kiss Wufei for at least half a minute.

Sally:*nervous and surprised* O-ok.

Wufei:*nervous* Me? Kiss an onna?! Nev-

Wufei's words were cut off as Sally placed her lips on his. His eyes widened in shock, but his eyes closed soon. 

After nearly two minutes...

Trowa: How long are they gonna go?

Noin:*pokes Sally's shoulder* You guys can quit now.

The couple stopped, both blushing, and sat back down.

Relena: *thinking dreamily* 'I need to pick Heero!!!'

Heero: 'Why the @!$# didn't I kill her when I had the chance?!'

Sally: I choose Relena.

Relena: Dare! ^_^

Sally: *smiles maliciously* 'She really is a baka.' I dare you to be stuck in a room with Heero, Duo, Trowa, and Wufei for 15 minutes.

Relena: *o* DONE DEAL!!

The chosen four smile evilly as they went with Relena into the next room.

Which of course is pink.

Relena: Wow, isn't this just great!! I'm sure we'll have fun! Blah Blah Blah...

The guys gritted their teeth when they heard her annoying voice.

Heero: *whispers* Guys, you grab her and I'll tie her to a chair.

The others nodded.

Relena: -pink is so cool. So are teletubbies and –hey, what are you guys O_O- SCREECHHH!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERROOOOO-CCCCCCHANNNNNNN!!! HHEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!

The guys wore ear plugs to protect themselves. They tied her down and laughed happily, and took out the plugs. 

Duo: Now for my special gift!!*brings out chibi Deathscythe*

#Talon: Awwwww! How cute! O_O; Ah- I mean how kick ass! # 

Chibi Deathscythe: Hi everybody!

Trowa, Heero, Wufei: That is weird....

CD: : WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!! *raises scythe*

T, H, W: GOMEN!!! :|

Relena:*eyes grew to the size of dinner plates* OMYGOSH!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO CCCUUUUTEEEEEE!!

CD: *winces at the sound of her voice* What kind of bit$# is that? Her voice could kill the dead!! Hey lady, ever heard of cold medicine?

Relena: ?_? What's medicine? *has clueless visage (just think of magikarp)*

CD: *stunned at her stupidity* How old is she? 8? Even that's too generous for the dumbass. *gives Duo puppy eyes* May I kill her? 

Duo: Sorry pal, but we need to torture her first! :} 

CD: *sweatdrops* I think you hang around Heero too much.

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Well, I hope you guys enjoyed the first part! ^_^ I need suggestions for the second part though (how I should torture her, no yaoi please).

Heero: Hey Talon, I just thought of something. It seems everything that I say Relena believes the opposite of it. 

Talon:*interest piqued* Yeah?

Heero: J So if that's true, then if I say something nice she should back off, right?

Talon: 'Poor fool is so desperate...:} Oh well!' Yeah, I think so.

Heero: *screams the same way Relena does* RRRRRRRREEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNAAAAAA!!!!!!

Relena: *Appears in a blur* Yes hee-chan!!!??

Heero: I love you!! 

Talon:*nearly faints* AM I DEAD?! 

Relena: * eyes widen* .....HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEE-CCCCCCHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!!! I KNEW YOU LOVED ME! * "attacks" Heero*

Heero:*panicked and in fear* AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!! I WAS KIDDING!!!!!!!*Relena ignores him* TALON!!! HELP ME!!!

Talon:* grins evilly* I could, but I won't.


	2. Chapter 2

Pink is Evil- Chapter 2

 Kudos to all those who reviewed! ;_; I'm so happy....O_o (ahem) I took rocketmans and summoners advice... That's right folks, things are going to get bloody. Although I'm sure you guys don't mind. ^_^ Onna means women and Wufei uses it instead of calling girls by their name to be rude.

Heero:*has extremely pissed off look*Omae o korosu!!*points gun*

Talon: EEP! *vanishes*

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Everyone:*hears high-pitched screams*

Quatre: Do you guys think they're ok?

Noin: The guys are fine, but Relena on the other hand.....

Sally:*imagines Relena being fed to sharks* Why don't we watch a video while we wait?

Zechs: Hopefully there's at least one movie that's watchable _.

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Relena:*screams to stun the boys and chibi Deathscythe* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Boys + CD: *plug ears and now have big anime veins* 

CD:*stuffs dirty, pink underwear in her mouth* SHUT UP!!!! 

Relena: MMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNPPPPFFFFFHHHHHHH!!!!!!

CD: Next time it'll be my scythe!! : p 

Relena:*spits out underwear* Why'd you do that cutie wootie? I'm not hungry.

CD:*ready to explode* 

Wufei: -_- # *rips off Relenas hair*

Relena: EEEEEKKK!!! My hair!!!!*cries*

Boys + CD:*smiles* YAY!!

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Sally:*looks through video cabinet* Let's see...Teletubbies volume 1-50 :| ....How to Win Heero's Heart 'that sure hasn't been working', Pink is Beautiful....THIS IS ALL CRAP!!!

Dorothy: :) Pick the 'How to Win Heero's Heart'.

Sally: ^_^ Sure!

Zechs: -_- ; Poor Heero.....

After the tape is inserted, the screen becomes pink and a giant heart with the words 'How to Win Heero's Heart' appears.

Video:* cheesy music starts* Do you love a certain boy who wishes to kill you? Does your heart melt when he says 'Omae o korosu'? Then we'll show you how to capture his heart!

Everyone except Quatre and Zechs: *tries hard not to laugh*

Zechs:  ~_~; Why sister? WHY?!

Quatre: ._., .........

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Heero:*hears cheesy music and becomes pale* Is that what I think it is?!

Trowa: Yep, it definitely is. :| 

Heero:*has angry look* I thought I burned that piece of shit!! 

Relena:*giggles* Oh Heero-chan, you didn't think I would have only one copy did you?

Heero:*strangles Relena* :( OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!!!!

Relena: x_x He...lp m...e!!

CD:*grins gleefully* Now the fun begins ^_^! Time to give Relena a nice, clean shave!

Heero:*let's go of Relena and takes a step back* Have fun! :) 

Relena:*clueless as usual* A shave? Aw, that's awfully nice of you, you cuddly cute gundam! ^_^ 

CD: -_- # THAT'S IT!!!!!! *hacks an arm off* 

Duo: :} I'm so glad I brought you along!

Relena: *oozes pink blood* OWWWWWWWWW!!!! *cries and wails pitifully* Why'd you do that, snuggly poo?

Trowa:*sees pink blood* Somehow I'm not surprised. 

CD: *anime vein becomes bigger* STUPID #@!$%&!!!!! *cuts off other arm*

Wufei: Stupid onna never learns....

Relena: AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!! ;_;

Duo: *grins as he thinks* Hey guys!! I know what we can do now!!

Everyone else:*turns to Duo* What?

Duo: :} Since she's like a witch, lets burn her!

Everyone but Relena:*cheers*

Heero:*pulls out a match* May I do the honors?

GW boys: Go right ahead!

Heero:*grins and lights the chair on fire*

Relena:*fire catches onto her clothing* EEEKKKKKKKK!! MY DRESS!!!

Duo: :) I would be worrying about other things if I were you. 'Thank God I'm not!' 

CD: BURN BABY, BURN!!!

Relena:*completely covered with flames* AIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!*manages to break free from the chair*

Wufei: What the hell!?

Relena:*too stupid to stop, drop, and roll* HEEEERRRRRRRROOOOO!!!

SAVE ME!! *runs towards Heero* 

Heero: :[ GET AWAY!!!

Talon: I'll be nice to him.*sets up a wall to keep Relena enclosed*

Heero:*sighs in relief* Thanks.

Relena: OH GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!!!*melts into a pile of ashes*

Heero: :) She's finally gone.....YES! I'M FREE!!!

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Epilogue: Since Relena was killed, Heero and the others decided to destroy anything that belonged to her. They would've destroyed her mansion, but Zechs stopped them, saying he would redecorate. As for her disgusting limo, Heero used his buster rifle and all that was left was a crater ^_^. 

Duo: What happened to Pagan? 

Talon: He now is a servant for Zechs, but is currently undergoing severe mentally ill treatment. Apparently, it's going to take a while...

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Ahhh, the satisfaction of bashing Relena. ^_^ I might just do it again *laughs*. Anyway, have a nice New Year's Eve!


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